i lost my hp today..my newly-bought phone. already pained enough but what pains n disheartens me even more is to realise something else - tt a 4yrs r/s means nothing actually. u tot i was lying when i told u my phone is missing. u called starhub n checked. when i said i might wan to terminate the line, you asked "who is going to pay for the termination penalty" and u threw me all these while i'm dealing with the pain of losing my phone n feeling terribly upset over it. i nv felt more insulted. am i the kinda person who will do this kinda thing letting u pay? y am i tearing as i write this? disappointed? anguish? insulted? disheartened? or m i just simply happy tt my feelings now r totally numb for u? i dun get it..n maybe nv will..i've always believed tt yes, a person may change due to the people/environment they often come into contact with, but his core character will be there always. is this thinking wrong?when a person changes, everything changes? n if it's for the worse, who to put the blame on? the person himself or the people/environment tt makes him changes?whether the change is for the better or for the worse, nobody knows till the end. it could be the other way round - tt i'm actually the one changing n yet claiming others r the ones changing cox i refused to acknowledge tt i've changed, for the better/ worse, it doesnt matter. but i always believe tt the moment u lose urself, u lose everything else, regardless of what u get in the end or how successful u r. and if u allow others to persuade u to change into someone u r not, u lose even more.i no longer feel like arguing who's right who's wrong. whatever it is, it's over. if u r together with her, good luck. like someone once said in her msn cap " full stop. tt's life. move on" i believe tt when i dun get what i want, God will give me something better; tt it's all fated n if this doesnt work out it means God has something better in line for me. n maybe she is the something better for u, maybe not, i don't know. but i do know tt someday when i look back at this hole tt i've fallen in n gotten out of, i'll probably laugh at myself for my naivety and my persistence in staying in this hole and yet count my blessings because God has given me something far better and thank myself for having this courage to take this final step.
Kisses XOXO Thursday, April 26, 2007
